The General

Opinionated, Jack Daniel's drinking, cigar chomping self-proclaimed expert on everything.

Author Archives: The General

Doncaster St Leger meeting day 4

By | September 14, 2013

Down to business straight away today, the tales of Mr Hulmes and Helmet in Doncaster town centre will have to wait for another day. But I will say 1 word about it – Messy! I really fancy Viztoria in the 3.15pm. This horse needs ease in the ground to be at her best, so conditions should really suit today. The… Read More »

Doncaster St Leger meeting day 3

By | September 13, 2013

Champagne corks were popping in the hotel last night after Clon Brulee had landed us a good touch. Well, needless to say, the busty blonde from the previous night found a new affection for Helmet and was right over. Now Helmet being himself, couldn’t see through this rouge and was delighted to be getting some attention, from what can only… Read More »

Doncaster St Leger meeting day 2

By | September 12, 2013

Helmet and I were in the hotel bar last night enjoying a couple of ladyboys – Partridge style of course – when in walked a busty blonde. Now Helmet fancies himself as a ladies man and so after he stopped drooling, approached the aforementioned young lady. He casually slid over, sat next to her at the bar and… Read More »

Doncaster St Leger meeting

By | September 11, 2013

I’m looking out of my hotel window here at Town Moor and it’s not very nice at all. When I checked the Metoffice report yesterday morning, no rain was forecast for this week. Guess Gump must be the Weatherman as it’s persistently coming down now! Anyways it’ll take more than this rain to dampen my enthusiasm for a… Read More »

Feast or Famine

By | September 11, 2013

“Feast or famine with you,” The Good Lady tells me on a weekend, “we either eat Steak and drink Champagne as you’ve had a good Saturday or we’re suffering from the Gump effect!” And people you know how that works. Anyway I’m hitting the ground running for tomorrow with 6 beauties for us to get our teeth in… Read More »

Distractions

By | September 9, 2013

Distractions, distractions, distractions. Poor old Mr Hulmes just can’t seem to catch a break at the minute. Whilst he is doing his best Dad of the Year act, he is getting distracted from the business of backing winners. This week, Mr H was picking the girls up from Dance class – on a Saturday afternoon can you believe?… Read More »

Have You Ever Been Gumped?

By | September 4, 2013

Sometimes when you’ve studied for hours and you think you’ve got a good feeling for a horse, things can go awry. Maybe the weather goes against you, your horse is ridden by a muppet or the money isn’t down and the horse isn’t at the races. You can accept these. But my fellow punters, let me ask you… Read More »